The Alphabet in My iPod Part 2: D & E

Day 4: D is for Dean Martin, The Very Best: The Capitol & Reprise Years

You may have already guessed from the classic middle-of-the-road eclecticism of safe music choices so far that I would be the owner of a large number of ‘best of’ albums. Somewhere in my childhood I must have been bitten on the backside by some pretty shit lesser-known tracks and decided that once the option was available I would only fork out my hard-earned for the good stuff: the BEST stuff. This will come across as heresy to any true devotees of music, particularly anyone raised on concept albums or writers of entire albums of music they know full well their fans will cease listening to in favour of only a select few songs. But I am practising honesty here, so the truth will out.

I have to say that listening to this album helped confirm me in my usual habit of using playlists to mix things up: an entire album of Dean Martin’s rat-pack charm and oozing vocals is like swimming in a pool of melted marshmallows with leg weights on. It needs a blast of cold water every now and then just to balance things out.

However, it can be a good thing returning to tracks that rarely get an airing (and skipping over those that have been done to death. I think we can all thank McDonald’s for putting the final nail in the coffin of That’s Amore). One track placed in mothballs is the insouciant Naughty Lady of Shady Lane, which for all money sounds like Mr Martin is singing about the local prostitute;

You should see how she carries on with her admirers galore

She must be giving them quite a thrill the way they flock to her door

She throws those come-hither glances at every Tom, Dick and Joe

When offered some liquid refreshment the lady never, never says no

It may surprise you to learn in the last line of the song that the she-devil is revealed to be only nine days old. (Laugh, we did!! Though awkwardly.) Grab the naphthalene flakes honey, that one’s going back in the linen press.

The 50s must have been a confusing time for lovers. In one breath Dean Martin comes out with the vaguely insulting You’re Nobody Till Somebody Loves You before following up in the next with Somewhere There’s A Someone (For Everyone), thus returning a glimmer of hope to all those loser nobodies he first mentioned. Confusing also for the young doo-whoppers was that the very sound of Dean’s voice comes across as the early incarnation of Rohypnol.

But really, all we can hope for from Dean is to mix some of his VERY best – Volare, Sway, Ain’t That A Kick in the Head – with some of his contemporaries’ best in a themed playlist called, I don’t know, maybe “Smoothies”. (I’m just spit-balling. Who’d have a playlist called that?!)

Day 5: E is for Electric Light Orchestra, The Very Best Of

Another Best Of. In all honesty, apart from Xanadu, did ELO even have any other albums? Actually, they didn’t even have Xanadu, as our Livvy got the title song.

Anyway. When I started the silliness of working through my iTunes Library I was quite clear about my taste in music and its potential absence. I’m sure you can draw your own conclusions about ELO, but I never tire of them, for better or worse. I am relying on arguments of subjectivity here, but I think if one person who finds something cool can find just one other person who feels the same way, then that thing CAN be cool. Even if it’s just a community of two. Anyone? Anyone? ELO?

The reasons I love ELO are many. I’m pretty sure my sister got the album for one of her formative teen birthdays, so it connects pretty strongly to my impressionable childhood. Osmosis from older siblings is a powerful thing. Also, whenever a movie wants you to feel happy they bang a bit of Livin’ Thing, Don’t Bring Me Down or Mr Blue Sky on the soundtrack. But what really impresses me is a song that can get me off the couch to get stuff done, and Hold On Tight works for me. I especially like trying to sing the French bit phonetically, as I have no idea what I’m singing (perhaps the verse but in French? Logical):

Accroches-toi a ton reve

Accroches-toi a ton reve

Quand tu vois ton bateau partir

Quand tu sents -- ton coeur se briser

Accroches-toi a ton reve. Accroches-toi a ton reve

Accroches-toi a ton reve

Quand tu vois ton bateau partir

Quand tu sents -- ton coeur se briser

Accroches-toi a ton reve.

I think they just put it in because they’re Brits and they wanted to sell albums in Europe. They probably needn’t have worried, as films are still using their songs – American Hustle is probably the most recent source of royalties from 10538 Overture and Long Black Road. So ELO are still kickin’ it. (Do people say that? Remember, two people makes it cool).